Begin again

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This week I started the first art class I’ve taken in a long time. I spent the days leading up stressing about getting the required supplies and worrying if it was even going to be worth the time and money. Getting anxious and stressed about everything is a terrible habit of mine. But when I walked into the little studio, I instantly felt at peace. It was like running into someone that you’ve really missed, and happy memories come flooding back. The teacher was so kind too, and he’s super talented. I don’t know why I worried so much about everything. I was so happy during class I kept having to internally tell myself not to cry. Maybe I just need more sleep. All I know is that this art class was a great decision.

I’ve spent so much time focusing my time on the wrong things, fully intending to finally get to the point where I can focus on things I love, like art. It’s never happened. I feel like that’s why my professional and personal life are a mess to me right now. I’ve never been where I need to be. I keep making decisions that seem right, but aren’t right for me. They appease everyone else, and make me miserable. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I don’t want to let any excuse keep me from doing what I enjoy during my own life. It doesn’t hurt anyone else if I pursue what I love, but it kills me when I don’t.

I want to say I don’t know if anything will even come of this art class, but something already has, really. It’s made me feel inspired, and that’s what I needed.

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