Questions that come with depression

How long do you just exist? What is the purpose of finding ways to delay death? What if happiness never comes? What if you feel this way forever? Can you handle it forever? Is there a reason to handle it forever? What happens when you lose the will to live? Isn’t it more selfish to ask someone to hold on to a miserable life, than to see yourself sad for five seconds at their death before you move on? Why do some people suffer so much and others not at all? Why does life reward you when you’re already up or snowball you into a pit of despair when you are already down? Why do people only take you seriously once you’re dead? Why do people shame you when you’re sad?

The biggest movement in this generation is “focusing on me right now,”  “putting me first,” “only keeping people around that benefit me right now,” and most people are hurting more than ever. How have you benefitted anyone else lately? Why are all these hurting people dying? Why is everything so lonely and unfulfilling? Will anything ever change?


Monday Playlist


Chill vibes lately: I updated my spotify (emhall32) with a new playlist of songs I’ve been into lately.

Track List:

  1. Pigs Can Fly – James Bourne,  I got to have a Skype session with Chris and James Bourne last week. It was so stressful haha, but so nice of them and fun. They are truly talented musicians. This song was a side project from James, written as a tribute to Busted getting back together. You can order this song on vinyl for a limited time @ or listen to it and Chris Bourne tunes on iTunes.
  2. Ordinary World – Green Day (featuring Miranda Lambert),  I love this version of the song. I love their voices together and the combination of different genres of music.
  3. The Distance – Aly and AJ
  4. Promises – Aly and AJ, I love how these two have come back with a different sound. It’s very much the 80’s type vibe that is creeping up in a lot of music right now. I love it.
  5. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – Taylor Swift
  6. Call It What You Want – Taylor Swift
  7. Getaway Car – Taylor Swift
  8. King of My Heart – Taylor Swift, You know I’m all about this album right now.
  9. Miss You So Much – Miley Cyrus, She has self proclaimed her tendency, and talented ability to write super sappy, sad songs, and it’s so true. I love to indulge in them.
  10. Bad Mood – Miley Cyrus
  11. She’s Not Him – Miley Cyrus
  12. Seeing Blind – Niall Horan (featuring Maren Morris), Another good collaboration. I also love Maren Morris’ album too. It’s full of well written, catchy music.
  13. Flicker – Niall Horan
  14. Too Much To Ask- Niall Horan
  15. The Joke – Brandi Carlile, I admire her song writing.


Favorite Lyrics:

“With the back and the forth, every hang up took the soul from me, I feel empty inside, more to lose than to try and make it better”

“I’m never gonna wait again”

“X marks the spot where we fell apart, He poisoned the well, every man for himself, I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we were cursed, It hit you like a shotgun shot to the heart”

“This is why we can’t have nice things, honey, Because you break them, I have to take them away”

“There I was, giving you a second chance, But then you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand”

“All the liars are calling me one, Nobody’s heard from me for months, I’m doing better than I ever was”

“When you look up at the cosmos, Do you ever wonder if there’s really even an end, It might go on forever, like my love for you, an amount that’s hard to even comprehend, I won’t waste my time with wonder, in apprehension, or livin’ life in fear, But how can I miss you so much when you’re right here?”

“I always wake up in a bad mood, I can never fall asleep, I’m always thinkin’ bout you, what life would be if we didn’t meet”

“I saw your eyes behind your hair, and you’re looking tired, but you don’t look scared”