Kitty’s been spending most of her time these days at her Palm Springs condo. She’s not one for the cold weather. I called and asked if I could come up for a visit, but that’s when the phone got disconnected. Bad signal, I guess. I haven’t brought it up again. I’m supposed to text her when the pool opens back up. I hope she gets back in time to lead our summer book club kickoff.
This picture is from a couple holidays back at our family Christmas party. Right before the camera went off, my Uncle let out the loudest belch of all time, and luckily all reactions were captured. This picture always makes me laugh for several reasons:
- Thinking about the belch.
- Nobody looks good in this picture. The only person that came out well is my sister, Julie, because she got blocked. Lucky. I look like I’m in month nine of pregnancy with twins, like maybe I had to pause labor to stand up and take this pic real quick. Unfortunately, it’s a combination of stuffing myself with food beyond physical limits and wearing an unfortunate top. False alarm. If you’re not wearing loose sweats or maybe just a large sheet draped over your body to these Christmas parties, then you’re doing it wrong. Some years I eat so much food, the only way I think I can continue visiting with family members is to lie on the ground and roll room to room.
- And most of all, thinking about how our family almost fell apart after my cousin posted this picture on her Facebook. Half of the family doesn’t even have Facebook, but somehow it was still offensive. The Rants, the Denials, the Disownment: Facebook the Story. And here I am posting it several years later to another internet outlet. Don’t worry fam, it’ll be seen by 20 people tops, LOL!
I got a calendar this year that is about all great things in the south. One day was dedicated to Cumberland Island in Georgia, and so I looked it up and read about staying at the Greyfield Inn on the island. It really sounds like the perfect getaway. The Inn was built by the Carnegie’s in 1900. It’s been updated, but it’s historic and still has that step-back-in-time feel. The price you pay to stay there includes the ferry ride to the island (the only way to get there! already amazing), your room, all your meals, and access to all the activities including hiking, tours, bike rides, fishing, the beach, and kayaking. There is no wifi and limited cell service on the island, and no other shops. It’s just you, the inn, and nature, and the wild horses that roam around. All you need is a bad storm and a couple of murders, and you’re in a 1940’s mystery movie.
The problem came when I was googling reviews, and came across an alarming one about camping on the island. Now this review had NOTHING to do with staying at the inn, BUT it was about the same island. It was a couple reviewing their camping trip, which basically consisted of fleeing from spiders. Now I know I have an extreme phobia of spiders that has reached irrational levels, but their review sounded like my actual nightmares. Basically, they saw one huge spider in a web and took a picture and really thought it was something. Then they saw another one, and another one, and groups of them together. And then they realized their camp site was covered in them, and they were afraid to walk anywhere without running into one of their webs. It’s like the ending of Arachnophobia when the guy finally realizes the spiders are coming from his house and they just start popping out everywhere and dropping from the ceilings and there is no where to turn without getting a spider on you. I should have never watched that movie, and I definitely don’t need to go live it. OH! And when they asked someone about the spiders, they said, “Oh, you don’t need to worry about those, but watch out for the brown recluse!” WHAT?!!! This could be my destiny:
I need to know what the status of spiders is on this island, and if they are a problem around this inn. Are they seasonal? Like if I went in colder temperatures, would they be gone? Are they only heavy in certain areas? I haven’t seen anyone else say anything about spiders, but I do see a lot of people say things about bugs. Do they mean actual bugs, or are they including spiders in that grouping? I need answers! I wouldn’t want to miss out on a great experience because of spider paranoia, but also don’t want to get trapped in a nightmare.
I’ve always been terrified to go to Australia, because it’s an island with ginormous spiders. And people are like, oh you don’t see them all the time. Let me be clear, once is one time too many when it comes to a huntsman. It’s called a HUNTSMAN!! What in the world! I used to think, “Oh, if you’re in a hotel or like a touristy area they’re not going to be around.” And then I listened to Chris D’elia’s podcast about being in Australia, and having a spider on his towel in the hotel. Nope.
So, I’m still undecided about potentially trying to visit the Greyfield one day. It’s not like I would be going sometime soon, but is it worth looking into more? It just sounds so neat! and I was so excited about it, and then horrified.
Kitty’s been grounded until Christmas Eve. She was caught unwrapping and rewrapping some presents under the tree while I was gone at the store. The tape was all over the place. I hope this doesn’t effect Santa’s list in any way.
How long do you just exist? What is the purpose of finding ways to delay death? What if happiness never comes? What if you feel this way forever? Can you handle it forever? Is there a reason to handle it forever? What happens when you lose the will to live? Isn’t it more selfish to ask someone to hold on to a miserable life, than to see yourself sad for five seconds at their death before you move on? Why do some people suffer so much and others not at all? Why does life reward you when you’re already up or snowball you into a pit of despair when you are already down? Why do people only take you seriously once you’re dead? Why do people shame you when you’re sad?
The biggest movement in this generation is “focusing on me right now,” “putting me first,” “only keeping people around that benefit me right now,” and most people are hurting more than ever. How have you benefitted anyone else lately? Why are all these hurting people dying? Why is everything so lonely and unfulfilling? Will anything ever change?
Chill vibes lately: I updated my spotify (emhall32) with a new playlist of songs I’ve been into lately.
- Pigs Can Fly – James Bourne, I got to have a Skype session with Chris and James Bourne last week. It was so stressful haha, but so nice of them and fun. They are truly talented musicians. This song was a side project from James, written as a tribute to Busted getting back together. You can order this song on vinyl for a limited time @ outatime.bigcartel.com or listen to it and Chris Bourne tunes on iTunes.
- Ordinary World – Green Day (featuring Miranda Lambert), I love this version of the song. I love their voices together and the combination of different genres of music.
- The Distance – Aly and AJ
- Promises – Aly and AJ, I love how these two have come back with a different sound. It’s very much the 80’s type vibe that is creeping up in a lot of music right now. I love it.
- This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – Taylor Swift
- Call It What You Want – Taylor Swift
- Getaway Car – Taylor Swift
- King of My Heart – Taylor Swift, You know I’m all about this album right now.
- Miss You So Much – Miley Cyrus, She has self proclaimed her tendency, and talented ability to write super sappy, sad songs, and it’s so true. I love to indulge in them.
- Bad Mood – Miley Cyrus
- She’s Not Him – Miley Cyrus
- Seeing Blind – Niall Horan (featuring Maren Morris), Another good collaboration. I also love Maren Morris’ album too. It’s full of well written, catchy music.
- Flicker – Niall Horan
- Too Much To Ask- Niall Horan
- The Joke – Brandi Carlile, I admire her song writing.
“With the back and the forth, every hang up took the soul from me, I feel empty inside, more to lose than to try and make it better”
“I’m never gonna wait again”
“X marks the spot where we fell apart, He poisoned the well, every man for himself, I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we were cursed, It hit you like a shotgun shot to the heart”
“This is why we can’t have nice things, honey, Because you break them, I have to take them away”
“There I was, giving you a second chance, But then you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand”
“All the liars are calling me one, Nobody’s heard from me for months, I’m doing better than I ever was”
“When you look up at the cosmos, Do you ever wonder if there’s really even an end, It might go on forever, like my love for you, an amount that’s hard to even comprehend, I won’t waste my time with wonder, in apprehension, or livin’ life in fear, But how can I miss you so much when you’re right here?”
“I always wake up in a bad mood, I can never fall asleep, I’m always thinkin’ bout you, what life would be if we didn’t meet”
“I saw your eyes behind your hair, and you’re looking tired, but you don’t look scared”
Day 1: This looks so much better. You should always have bangs. This is what your face needs. This will be so cute for colder weather too.
Day 2: These bangs really make a difference. Why did you ever let them grow out before. Let me trim them a little to get them just right. Perfect.
Day 3: You’ve ruined yourself. (Begin grow out process)
Kitty has decorated her house for Christmas. She papered the walls herself. And this was difficult, because she’s not allowed to use scissors or glue after her Easter crafting incident. She’s waiting till after Thanksgiving to string the lights and add lawn decor. She wanted a Macy’s Parade balloon to tie on the roof, but I compromised by giving her Santa’s cell number and upgrading her data plan to unlimited texting.
It’s not really about being completely different, it’s about a new perspective. It’s about connecting with someone who takes you out of your comfort zone, or mind rut, and reminds you that there is an entire world out there with new experiences waiting to happen to you, there’s different kinds of people than the ones that are surrounding you or you’ve surrounded yourself with, and there are new things to love about life. I’m not even talking about dating or meeting a new partner, but it could be that as well. I’m just talking about anyone that comes into your life adding value through just being themselves, and diminishes the weight of your problems by opening up your eyes to a different perspective. Their existence gives you hope. It’s a hard thing to describe.
I had so many times growing up, especially in school in a new class or something, when I would see someone and think, “Oh, that person would hate me. I better stay away from them, because I can just tell we’d never get along,” and then that’s the very person that ends up being your best friend for years. I would be scared of them, because they seemed so different from me. But our differences complemented each other, and we had something new to add to each others lives. You meet the best people in the most random ways, at the most random times.
Several winters ago, I went out of the country for the first time to my sister’s wedding in China. It was hard to talk to a lot of people there because of the language barrier, but one of my sister’s bridesmaids knew English pretty well. (Nothing makes me feel more useless then being around people who know multiple languages. I’ve had three years of french, and I feel like I should at least be able to do something with that. But nope, only English. -___-) We had only talked for a few minutes, but it felt like I’d known her my whole life. We realized we were going through a lot of the same life problems at the time. Nobody I knew back home could understand what I was going through, but she got it right away. Someone living a completely different life, on the opposite side of the world from me understood me better than friends I’d been living around for years. I’ll never forget those conversations, and how much comfort they brought me, and how grateful and lucky I am to have met such a special person.
I love being around people with different musical taste than me as well. I try to listen to different kinds of music or browse through different artists or genres, but I mostly tend to stick to the same things. That’s not a bad thing either, but sometimes you find new favorite artists or songs through someone else, and you know you never would have come across them on your own. I mean, I’ll probably never love any death metal no matter who shares it with me. But then again, I’ve started loving songs I’ve hated by associating them with favorite memories. Like the time I went on a road trip with two friends that wouldn’t stop turning up the volume to All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor. I enjoyed how much they enjoyed it. I may have even listened to it on my own a few times after that. My sisters and I have very similar music tastes, but they branch out into other genres and artists I never listen to. We used to love to make each other mix tapes with all our favorite songs of the moment, and we really tried to bring new stuff to the table (LOL). Those cd’s are still some of my favorite.
This is a rambling blog. I guess I’m trying to say, new people or new experiences can bring hope. It’s something I try to remind myself of a lot. You never know who will come into your life and change it. There is nothing wrong with old friends or the familiar, but sometimes I know the best thing I can do for myself is get out and meet new people and experience new things. I’m thankful for all the people who have given me new perspective, even the ones that don’t know they’ve made a difference.